Hey boys and girls, once again its time for another beautiful, uplifting nugget of moral guidance from that classic trumpeter of murder, rape, and slavery…..The Bible! Gotta love yee Old Testament. Timely subject matter, I know. But the good book is what is on Brodie's mind today. So, here’s a little ditty from Deuteronomy 22:28-29. Deuteronomy, or what I sometimes like to call, seriously God?:
If a man is caught in the act of raping a young woman who is not engaged, he must pay fifty pieces of silver to her father. Then he must marry the young woman because he violated her, and he will never be allowed to divorce her.
Way to go God! You see kids, once again he is teaching you many valuable lessons at once. God is not condoning rape and slavery here. Rather, he is promoting responsible rape and dedicated slavery. If you don’t have a lot of money or you find yourself to be a commitment-phobe, you should refrain from raping any young woman. God does not, and I want to make this absolutely clear, love slavery and rape. But for a little cash and a pledge, he's willing to look the other way. Also, note how he specifies, a young woman who is not engaged. You see the benefits of getting married at a young age, girls? To a young man that is. You don’t want to marry a woman, or you will be put to death. Fair is fair.
For now, let's focus and just remember if you are gonna go a-raping, remember to carry plenty of cash and a loyal heart. Its what God wants.
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