Remember a time when grown men patrolled our beaches, ensuring the safety of all who dared to venture out into salty waters? Remember a time when a man could earn 10 grand a year and still rent a nice place and own a sports car? Remember a time when this man had his pick of beautiful women and pissed away a lucrative job selling cars? Well, neither do I, but apparently this magical world existed in 1970s California.
You may recognize Sam Elliot's face from the Big Lebowski, his voice from various truck commercials, and his mustache from fucking heaven. The Lifeguard's mustache makes Tom Selleck's look like a lip-rat covered in pubic hair. Burt Reynolds has been known to weep with envy when catching a glimpse of it.
Do yourself a favor, find this film, watch it, and lament the sad state of your modern life. Note Elliot's quick temper and wry smile. If your heart belongs to someone else, prepare to have it claimed by a tanned, hairy god-man. The Elliot strides across the screen and into your life for a good hour and a half, and you will never be quite the same. Fuck you Hasslehoff.
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